ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!!

Subject: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Thu Jul 28, 2011 1:59 pm

I have been... errrr... directed to several grammar mistakes.
Well, actually... HORRORS. As you may know, English is my second language, so I get
easily confused by it (not withstanding my natural super powers of idiocy!) So, I sis a little
digging... now I don't feel THAT bad. Very Happy

If you find something in TLRB... let me know.
Like rolling "a single dice" instead of "a single die".
To me that STILL sounds like dying alone and not about rolling a like plastic cube! Just Kidding

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
of the English language!

English...

Y U SO HARD!!!!

Many Reasons Why the English Language is Hard to Learn:

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
Quicksand works very slowly.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
You recite at a play and play at a recital?
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
Why there is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger?
Why there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England nor French Fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Boxing Rings are square.
A guinea pig is neither from Guinea (the country) nor is it a pig.
Why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
The plural of tooth is teeth. Why isn't the plural of booth... beeth?
One goose, two geese. Why not one moose, two meese?
The plural of mattress is mattresses. Why is the plural of octopus octopi?
You can make amends, but not only one amend.
If you have a bunch of "odds and ends" and get rid of all... butif you leave one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
You ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
We say that noses run and feet smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same?
How can a wise man and a wise guy be opposites?
A house can burn up as it burns down.
You fill in a form by filling it out.
An alarm goes off by going on.
Why is called teh human race, when it
Why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Why doesn't "buick" rhyme with "quick"?

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Thu Jul 28, 2011 4:09 pm

Mordheimer wrote:: 33. One goose, two geese. Why not one moose, two meese?

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:03 pm

yes mord the englinsh language is indeed very very strange even to me and its my first language

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:59 pm

English truly is a ridiculous language!

Maybe we should all speak Esperanto...

Laney Very Happy

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:04 am

Or Dutch...

... nahhh.

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Fri Jul 29, 2011 4:17 am

Nice!
Here another one:

49. Why do they call it "taking a dump" if you're not really taking it anywhere. They'd better call it "leaving a dump".

Arachas wrote:: Or Dutch...

That would be handy! Very Happy

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:58 am

That was GREAT Gatlag!!!

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:43 pm

Is a threesome is having sex among three people and a twosome is having sex among two people...

Why is handsome a compliment? scratch

Stupid English....

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Tue Sep 13, 2011 6:45 pm

Haha, I like that one Mord, makes handsome seem like an insult Smile

Subject: Re: ENGLISH... Y U SO HARD!!! Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:11 pm

what about the word Fanny it means one thing to you in the U.S and another thing to us.

U.S Fanny = Butt
N.Z/U.K Fanny = girls private bitz. Embarassed

So when visiting Yanks talk about their Fanny pack we all look away.... Embarassed

English is weird...

LGW