Jon of the Harpan Steel Hearts

Okay, I wrote this up in my spare time, thought I'd post it here for you chaps to read. Let me know what you think...

Jon's scarred visage looked over his platoon as they huddled under the stunted ruins of the factory complex. His men sat around smoldering fires, their greatcoats wrapped around themselves in an attempt to keep out the sleeting rain. They mumbled between themselves, autoguns cradled in their arms as they waited for the order to attack. High command wanted the factory taken by next morning, but Jon knew he would have to disappoint them; the men were tied.
Jon threw back his greatcoat, placed one hand on his sword hilt and another on his long barreled dueling pistol. Everything about the lieutenant made him look like an older man; a bionic right hand, a new knee that made a slight scratching noise as he walked, the metal plate that ocvered the back of his skull, and the huge scar that ran down his chest. He wore his hair long, as the tradition of his world demanded, and wore a short, trimmed beard that made him look over fifty. In truth, he was only thirty one.
The men raised their heads to the platoon leader. Jon spoke to them, saying kind words and encouragements to raise their dampened spirits. Many of them had bionic replacements, such as eyes, arms, and organs, and most had their hair like Jon. These were the men of Harpan VI, the barren, sand covered feral world where a day lived was a gift from the Emperor. There was only one settlement of any value on Harpan, named simply Town, and it was from there that Jon came from. It was the only haven of law and order on that planet, the rest belonging to savage tribes and bands of outlaws and other unwanted beings. Even in Town life was difficult; an unarmed man was a dead man, and Jon lived by killing those who failed to kill him first.
All that changed when the commissar conscripted him into the newly formed Harpan XXIV. Beaten into place, he soon showed talent for leading as well as killing, and became a sergeant. While at their homeplanet the regiment served as the peacemakers, using the iron fist of the law to make Town a safer place. Three years later the regiment left Harpan to fight the Eldar, where Jon fought with distinction and promoted several times.
That was six years ago. Jon was a different man now from when he left Harpan; a harder man fortified with the faith of the Emperor and the solid belief that steel was stronger than flesh. His bionics reinforced that belief, and he urged his own men to harden their bodies with metal and faith. He was loved by his men, all of them friends and family from Town, all sworn to fight with his to the end.
"Jon!" A man on the voxcaster called the leader. "High up." Jon sighed. Bloody commanders with their medals and pompous titles. Damn them all, he thought and took the mouth piece from the private.
"Lieutenant, you must take the complex now, the Marshal demands it."
"I will do as I can." Jon replied and threw it aside. Bloody commanders.