V.I.S.I.O.N. Hall of Fame: Nominate the abuser!

Last edited by Mordheimer on Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:03 am; edited 8 times in total

As many as you are aware, I have been contacted by our ONLY sponsor, here at Death Squads;

V.I.S.I.O.N.

V.I.S.I.O.N. is the Visually Impaired Snakes Improvement Organization & Network, and their mission is to help improve the lives of all those MILLIONS of snakes who were forcefully sacrificed by those unscrupulous players who keep forcefully removing the "snake's eyes" ( Roll 1

) and use them for their dice rolls for their nefarious gaming entertainment!While the dice-gods appear to love them, V.I.S.I.O.N. strongly believes that this is unfair for the snakes, which are then left to live blind miserable lives. We must help the blind snakes! It is rumored that Da Bank has a whole Venezuelan village working on the extraction of eyes and smuggling them to the country by pigeons! Apparently Major Sturmm is using some kind of mystical herbal tea, to attract fakirs who then charm snakes into plucking their own eyes for his personal use. The people will NOT tolerate the abuse... so many ONE's... so many Blind Snakes... the horror... the humanity!

When the sacrifice of those snakes becomes evident V.I.S.I.O.N. must be alerted at once! When you need a 2+ to take a fighter OOA and you FAIL to do it TWICE in a row, you know that snakes were robbed of a brilliant visually appealing future! When you roll Multiple-Wounds (1 and 6), and then you could have died TWICE (lots of Roll 1

), you know that some vipers are in perpetual darkness. When your opponent celebrates that he is rolling 3's and claims improvement, you know that his eye's shipment is late.

This is a call to everyone... card-carrying members unite! Place those who abuse of snakes out in the open... and we will let V.I.S.I.O.N. take care of them. The shame... the abuse... the horror!!! Rewards will be handed to those who post evidence of the abuse.

Those on this list are to be declared Enemies of the Snake; to be bitten on sight!

Major Sturmm
Colonel Prius
Da Bank

V.I.S.I.O.N. Hall of Fame: Nominate the abuser! VISION

I nominate Da Bank as public enemy #1!

If the man had 20 dice with six on all sides, I bet anything that he would roll 20 Roll 1

! The man is cursed!

I have seen three Officers take FOUR Turns to take out a Kroot Hound... who was ALREADY Knocked Down! Shocked

That is an example of ONE event.

I really should nominate myself but I don't really like the idea of getting bitten by 5928 snakes during the coming months...

hehehe... what evidence you have that you WILL be bitten by 5928 snakes?

Knowing you the I do, I suspect YOU will send them to me by mail. And of course you have instructed them to take all my models back to you when the job is done Just Kidding

MUHAHAHAHA! And that is why I'm a card carrying member... but only if V.I.S.I.O.N. stopped employing the blind snakes...

Mord,

You can put me up there as well! Arachas should (could) nominate me. He is a key witness when it comes to rolling snake eyes.

Thanks for the salt in my wounds!

I love a good torture.

See ya! Sturmm

I nominate Sturmm!

Any concrete story to share?

Hahaha! That was quick! Yes Arachas baby. You couldn't resist now could you? I bet you didn't even made an effort to. More salt in my wounds. Ooh yeah baby! Give it to me! (sorry guys, just got carried away ...)

Ha! Second place. Ain't that something. Now Da Bank does not have to feel so alone anymore.

Quote :: Any concrete story to share?

Got time? That would be about every single game we played: Fantasy and 40K. The only game in which I don't score snake eyes against Arachas is the game we call Wing Chun! That gives me enough self confidence to repeatingly challenge the man! Very Happy

See ya! Sturmm

The ONLY reason you don't roll 1's in Wing Chun is because you've got a big-ass skill modifier, earned through achieving level 25! Even if you do roll 1's (which you do), you're still getting a +1 gazillion modifier. So duh...

Anyhow, I've been playing Warhammer related stuff with Sturmm for the past four years or something. I cannot remember a single game, bar our first game of DS, where Sturmm did not roll masses of 1's. I seriously do not want to think of all the poor snakes that were killed in the making of this man. The horror!

Sturmm is no. 1. Da Bank may be unlucky, but this guy sure beats him hands down. No challenge.

Edit: And while I'm at it, I nominate Prius, too. I blame his way of rolling dice. But the dude is almost as unlucky as Sturmm, though DS seems to be mending this flaw of his, unfortunately. But in any other dice game it's either 1's galore, or no 1's at all when he desperately needs to make that LD test. Wink

You know, I think you should tell the story of your Elves agains his dwarves. What was it, you wiped his army and only took 1 casualty? If that doesn't place him on the number one spot, I dont know what will.

But as an anecdote form our last game. He had a trooper with bs4, with a laser dot targeter, making it bs5. Did not score one hit the entire game. Now that is bs ;P

Damn traitors! Even worse than renegades. Backstabbers the lot of you!

I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!

"Oh ehm sarge Barbie: hand over the red dot sight thingy. Now ... and I will show you how it's done".

Fetch me a little drill, a few dice, drill a bit, pour some hot lead and bingo! No more snake eyes ever!
We'll get those sneaky little backstabbing imperial bastards!

Quick... check his MODELS!!! Yes, if his Officers' eyes look like any of these...

V.I.S.I.O.N. Hall of Fame: Nominate the abuser! Ghost0uc

V.I.S.I.O.N. Hall of Fame: Nominate the abuser! 737-1107507812-fucked_up_eye_2

... then you will know that his Officers keep pointing the red-dot laser in the wrong direction!

I vote to start a fund, and get Da Bank and Major Sturmm some new dice, pictured below.
Whilst they would probably still roll Roll 1

's, I would feel much better!!!

V.I.S.I.O.N. Hall of Fame: Nominate the abuser! Des6

Whilst: YEAH BABY!!! I used the word again!!!

Hahahaha!

Thanks guys ... That sucks!

On the other hand: it is a number one position.

Did you notice the list?... NO NUMBERS... so you are number... DOT? Just Kidding

Wise guy eh? Being at the top of any list means numero uno in my book.
So yeah: first dot, first place.

Regards. Sturmm

Yes.. Numero Uno. I bet you know know ALL about Roll 1

's! HA!

Colonel Prius: We, the people who care for the Snake's Sight, will be watching YOU for rolling THREE consecutive DEAD results for your Officers on the Serious Injury Table! We read your self confession on this Battle Report !

Anyone else to be nominated?

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