Part 2Week 4 Game 5 (Half way through the Beta Campaign) WonColonel Commissar DaBank instructed Lt Dan to assemble the men. A few minutes later Lt Dan told DaBank the men are ready for inspection.
Colonel DaBank addressed the men, "Naval command thinks you all have had it to easy for too long and I agree with them. I begged the Lord General for no more "milk runs". I instructed the Lord General I want the dirtest and most dangerous job there is. I won't have my Last Chancers from the penal colony turning into fat, laxy sons of Acid Grubs who couldn't lift a hand to stratch their arses, so ladies this is your LAST CHANCE to powder your noses and play footsie with the flamers as this evening you'll will be working for your keep!"
All the men howled out, "Sir, Yes Sir!"
DaBank called in Lt Dan and Lt Pyle to his quarters. The men sat down at the table in the center of the room. Commissar DaBank offered both LTs some hot recaf and both eagerly accepted some. DaBank pulled out his data slate and type in his password and the data slate hummed to life but it was not the data slate that he was expecting as the holographic image was one of Sisters of Battle in, um....compromising positions. DaBank coughed and tried to act like what the hell happened. DaBank quickly noted that his was taken as "evidence" from one of the last chancers who had been selling data slates with naked pictures of some Sisters of Battle. Lt Dan and Lt Pyle acknowledged the statement and tried their hardest not to laugh or smile. It was the longest two minutes of their lives.
DaBank pulled out the correct data slate and typed in his password. The Lord General's holographic image popped out and told DaBank he had been chosen to go after a Renegade Imperial PDF unit who has been rumored selling Imperial secrets to the Orks, Eldar and some other heretical races. Lord General Peter Draggin showed DaBank the pin point location of the Imperial Renegade new HQ. It seems to be a run down building on the otherside of a deserted city. The Lord General reminded Colonel DaBank that if in a few hours they can not succeed to get enough men with auspex close to the building to intercept the crypted messages to their employer then the Imperial Navy will order another Orbital Bombing like they had in the last few skirmishes.
Commissar DaBank split his group to move forward on two different points on the battlefield. DaBank put Ensing Moe (the newest promoted recruit to an Officer status) to lead the assault on the West side. Ensign Moe eager accepted to show to everyone that he was ready for a command.Commissar DaBank took the remaining men to the other side and huddled down until it was almost first light to catch the Renegades by surprise.
The charge was ordered and Ensign Moe moved his men forward to an exposed side of the ruined building and immediately they were taking incoming fire. DaBank ordered his men to move forward to but use cover as much as possible as these filty renegades have been known to put men in high areas as snipers to pick off good men of the Empire.
After the first round Ensign Moe's team managed to take one renegade down but then the Renegades started moving around and deploying to better shooting points. During this time some crazed lunatic pulled out to laspistols with ivory handles and twirled his pistols in his hands. The laspistols were chrome and the sunrise was coming up and when it shone off the laspistol chrome it looked like a disco ball and then shots rang out like a bell and the evil Renegade blasted shots away from his vantage point to the unprotected Last Chancers. Billy Bob, the Catachan figher, was taken out of action by one of the shots, then Boy George was knocked down by incoming autogun and shotgun fire. Ensign Moe showed tremendous courage by leading the way and taking the point position to lead his men.
Lt Dan and Lt Pyle finally reached their perched positions and attempted to open fire on the renegade snipers but could not quite make them out. They knew those damned vile creaps were in the tower but could not take shots until one of the become exposed. Lt Dan called down to Commissar DaBank of their situation. DaBank said, "I will fix that and you will have your shot."
DaBank ordered Pvt Seymore Bottoms to run to the left side and hid behind the corner of the building and when Pvt Bottoms sprinted for cover lasgun fire erupted all around him. Pvt Bottoms was hit and fell down but it seems the lasgun fire passed right between his legs and it took him a few minutes to get oriented to be ready to fight.
Engsign Moe kept his team moving and finally Pvt Boy George was able to whip out his flamer and dose to Renegades with hot flames. The 1st Renegade saw what was coming and was able to dunk so the 2nd Renegade took all the flames and was burnt to a crisp.
As the battle keep going a new Catachan penal fighter was shot in the head by a shot and it doesn't look like he has long to live. Ensign Moe rallied his men and ordered them to move forward slowly but to continue to fire and in doing so he exposed himself to the Renegades and they shot at him. Ensign Moe went down in a hail of bullets.
The rest of the Last Chancers felt an outrage roar up in their chests and they pressed forward to get the Renegades. Pvt George Michael who managed to dodged buckshot being shot at him moved in with his flamer and poured burning Promethium into one of the doorways. The Apostate Preacher must have said a quick pray to his gods as he was unaffected by the flames but it seems he forgot to pray for the recruit next to him as he was cooked like a Grox on a Guilder Day Festival.
Two renegades on DaBank's side tried to move in closer. One of them was a flamer and he was quickly surprised when a bunch of men ran straight for him and they opened up on him and took him out. Then the other renegade ran to a 2nd level and fired shots at the incoming Last Chancers but the shots were wild at best and failed to hit their mark.
The Last Chancers fired back and the renegade recruit fell to his death. Then Lt Pyle got lucky with a lasgun shot on a Renegade in the tower as he finally popped his head up to take a shot and in doing so exposed himself and took a shot to the head. DaBank was urging his troops forward when he saw the Renegade leader run out the side door with his men. DaBank and the Last Chancers got into the Renegades HQ and started to get any information they can about the Renegade Operations. There were chaos gods and insensitive markings drawn on the walls. The flamers were ordered to burn any and all Renegade pics, dieties and etc right away.
DaBank found a data slate and it seemed to belong to the one called Dozer, the leader of the Renegade Rabble and DaBank started looking through the files and saw that Dozer likes flowers and little puppies. DaBank ordered double rations tonight for the men as they were accomplished their mission. Pvt Bottoms said to Pvt Parts that "Wow, double rations! These grey protien bars that taste like arese that I wouldn't even feed them to a Grox!"
While searching around they found 22 credits and some resources that could be sold for a later date.
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Game 6: Night Sabotage LOST Won 3 Lost 3Colonel Commissar DaBank was sitting at his table along with LT Dan, LT Pyle and Ensign Moe Booty. The Ensign said he “folds”, then Lt Pyle looks around nervously and back at his hand of cards. DaBank says, “Lt Pyle just fold we all know when you don’t have a pair”. Lt Dan and Ensign Booty began to laugh. Ok, I fold said, Lt Pyle. Commissar DaBank picked up his cup of hot ReCaf and sipped some down. The Colonel said, “Lt Dan you in or are you walking?” Oops, bad joke sorry said DaBank. Lt Dan said, “I raise you and I have a pair of Ecclesiarchs”. DaBank said “Wow!, you got it but I call you and here is what I have, Three Inquisitors and an Emporer”. Lt Dan looked as if he was punched in the gut. DaBank could only smile and began to pull in all the credits.
Pvt Seymor Bottoms runs into the room and just realized he ran in before knocking. Colonel DaBank looked up and ask “What in the name of the Golden Throne can I help you with Pvt Bottoms?” Sir, sorry sir but a message just came in from the Lord General on the portable Hololith. Colonel DaBank said, “Alright turn the damn thing on.” Pvt Bottoms placed the Hololith in the middle of the table and pressed the on button. The Hololith hummed to life and asked for Colonel DaBank to input his private PIN #. DaBank did so and the Lord General’s image shoot from the Hololith. Colonel DaBank quickly said “Good Evening, Sir!” The Lord General Hololith was full of static but began to look around. The General noted, “Teaching your subordinates to stay away from gambling, Commissar?” DaBank cringed for a minute as he was still pulling the pile of newly won credits towards himself. DaBank quipped, “Yes Sir!, I am teaching them that gambling is a bad thing as he smiled.” Lt Dan, Lt Pyle and Ensign Booty started to squirm in their seats. The Lord General then said” Colonel, we still playing this Friday night?” Colonel DaBank said, “Of course Sir!, I would never miss it.”
The Lord General said, “Time for business, as it seems some filthy xenos Orks have stolen three shuttles and are trying to use them for themselves.” DaBank asked what intel do you have? Lord General said, “Small mob of Orks lead by a nob that calls themselves the Green Palms or something like that. I need you and your squad to get ready to move out and recover or destroy the shuttles.”
DaBank ordered his mean for a night time raid in hopes of catching the Orks by surprise. DaBank pulled out his amplivisor and scanned the area. From what DaBank saw he split his force up into threes. He wanted to attack two shuttles and put surpressing fire on the third shuttles. Unfortunately, when moving into a ruined building Sarge Rock tripped over a rock and made a noise and this in turn alerted the Ork Sentry close to him. The Orks raised the alarm and opened fire on the Last Chancers in the ruined building and the rest of the Ork security detail quickly reacted and moved towards the commotion. Fortunately for the Last Chancers they had plenty of cover as they had not moved from their positions.
Sarge Paper was next to Pvt George Michael and Pvt Boy George when he yelled out, “Take as many of those grox reamers as you can?” Pvt Michael and Pvt George both looked at each other and said in duo “What is wrong with Grox Reamers?” Sarge Paper threw a grenade at the middle shuttle but if failed to do any damage and then later on another grenade was thrown at a couple of Orks but they are so tough it only daze them.
DaBank and Hawkeye moved to the top floor of a building to take shots at the Orks but then realized they only had pistols and they were too far away for their shots to be effective. Lt Dan and Trooper Curly moved to the 2nd floor and poured lasgun fire into the Orks on the right side. Ensign Moe, two flamers and two other troopers moved towards the middle shuttle but soon realized with the alarm being raised they would be in direct LOS of the Ork Shaman type thing and the sleeping Orks were running out of their rooms. Pvt George moved towards the first shuttle and hoped to flame an Ork and a shuttle and he did not damage. Pvt George Michael moved toward the middle shuttle and hosed down a couple of Orks with Promethium but really do not do the damage he wanted. Now both flamers were out in the open. The Orks fired back taking Pvt Boy George down but Pvt George Michael managed to elude the first few shots his way.
DaBank’s plan was ruined as the Orks slowly shuffled moved toward the Last Chancers he knew that moving forward would be suicide and good thing he waited as a group of 5 Orks Gretchins came in on left flank and if he had moved forward his squad would have been in trouble. DaBank yelled out to his men to get back into cover.
DaBank finally made it out of the building and got behind some cover when Catachan fighters Billy Joel and Billy Bob (Yes, they are brothers) came up to help give some much needed fire support as it seemed for every Ork they took down a Last Chancers was going down. Ensign Bottoms, Pvt George , Pvt Michael and Pvt Lonely were all OOA at this time and the Orks were moving in and the crazed Ork dumb boy was trying to crackle off his Psyker powers at the Last Chancers and he was starting to hit his mark. DaBank qued his voxcom to the Hands of Vengeance Frigate and called in another artillery strike as he has done before. He punched in the codes into his dataslate and only hoped he could get out in time before the Orbital Strike came raining in. DaBank barked out orders for his men to fall back and regroup.
Ensign Moe Bottoms took a severe shot to the head. He was rushed to the trauma center as quick as possible but precious time was wasting away. They were finally to get Ensign Bottoms to Hawkeye. Bottoms life signs were quickly going down and then his vitals stopped. Hawkeye quickly performed CPR was able to bring him back but due to the lack of oxygen Ensign Bottoms bottomed out and has become stupid.
After the battle Commissar DaBank was going over each man’s file to see if anyone deserved any commendations for today’s battle and it seemed Pvt Boy George had rushed out into the middle of the action (with a funny gait) to set the example to the rest of the Last Chancers. DaBank thought that now with Ensign Bottoms suffering from a severe head injury that this might be a chance to move someone up into the Ensigns position.
Lt Dan knocked on the door and DaBank said to come in. DaBank took a sip of his ReCaf as Lt Dan announced what supplies Imperial Navy had ferried down. Lt Dan said they got to “hot shot” power packs for their lasguns and a demolition expert who managed to piss off his company commander. DaBank said two power packs? What gives? Lt Dan said the Navy shuttle had been hit by a missile or was sabotaged. DaBank thought, and said Yea, Dozer and his group must be behind this. Dozer and his stupid radio programs will do anything to break from Imperial rule.
DaBank asked Lt Dan, You know why Dozer choses to do radio programs? Lt Dan said, “No, why?’ Because the only people he can convert are those who can not read. Lt Dan said “True as it seems a local mother is reporting her son missing after listening to one of Dozer’s broadcasts. “ Lt Dan said also don’t forget there is also an Eldar squad running around lead by some guy in spandex tights called Exarch Naois and along with two different Ork Nobs who claim to be the biggest and baddest. Colonel DaBank picks up his dataslate and reads from a Navy Intelligence report or lack there of and says that there are reports that one of the Ork Nobs was killed by an Eldar after a disagreement on who should take the lead while they were dancing together. Lt Dan said, “Colonel, you look sad”. DaBank said “Yes, I guess I am. I am disappointed that I never managed to kill that Nob, I was really looking forward to wiping his entails off my chainsword.” Lt Dan said, “I know how you feel sir.”
Navy Intelligence also says this Spandex wearing Exarch is starting to think he has what it takes to make this place a new Craftworld. Lt Dan exclaims, "Emperor's Teeth, who does this Eldar think he is?" DaBank calming said, I have no idea but he will meet his end at the end of my chain sword as he takes a bite of his reconstituted soylens.
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Prelude to Game 7: Opening Statements.Colonel Commissar DaBank was going over the latest DataSlate map to see where the latest incursions have been happening. There have been Ork, Eldar, Renegade attacks on various Imperial points of interest. There have been rumors coming in that giant bugs have been seen roaming around and devouring those in their way. The Departemento of War Media has but out news bulletins that there are no such things as “giant bugs” and this is just someone’s imagination or drinking problem that has “clouded” the fact.
DaBank howls at Lt Dan to make the map bigger on the table so all can view. DaBank questions his leadership team to tell him where they think the next probable target would be. Lt Dan said, “There is a house of fun on the other side of time that should be watched.” DaBank smirked and said “Really, and who would you suggest should go and check it out?” Lt Dan said, “I would be willing to lead a team over there as there have been numerous occasions that the Renegade Rabble lead by Dozer has been there.” DaBank smiles and says, “I see but that will not be happening.”
DaBank says, “Ok, would anyone else like to try?” Lt Pyle says, “Sir, I fear the Governor might be a target.” “Very good”says Dabank, “someone is finally thinking with their right head but I don’t think that will be the target just yet. DaBank says, “Next?” Sarge Rock stammers for a minute and says “Sir, they could be looking to attack our shuttle supplies.” Interesting says DaBank but they already have last week, “Remember?”
Sarge Paper jumps in and says “The mines, they might be looking to taking over some of the precious mining areas.” DaBank says “Ok, not bad.” DaBank looks at the newly promoted Ensign Boy George who recently defied all odds of survival by personally charging into an Ork firestorm to whip out his flamer nozzle and splash hot flames onto the enemy. Ensign Boy George says, “Sir, I would expect the enemy to hit this target, this target here is the main Promethium reserve tanks.” DaBank didn’t know what to say but “Yes, you are correct Ensign George, I also believe the Xenos and Heretic forces will go after the Promethium tanks.” Ensign George mumbles something. DaBank said, “Yes what is it?” Ensign George quickly states that current situation PDF units can not be trusted and we must be ready to thrust extremely justice on those that oppose us.” Ok says DaBank.
Pvt Seymore Bottoms comes into the briefing room with a plate of Salt Grox Sandwiches and a carafe of Recaf. Colonel said told Pvt Bottoms to put the nice warm edible items next to his spot. Colonel DaBank grabs his limited edition Emperor’s Image Recaf mug. It has a holographic image of the Emperor smiting Orks when you hold it up to the light. “Pvt Bottoms!” says Dabank, “fill me to the rim!” “Oh, gladly” says Pvt Bottoms. Ensign George looked confused for a moment. The other officers looked at each other kind of confused also.
DaBank coughs and says “Start planning immediately for us to secure the planet’s Promethium tanks and we better plan for another option just in case we get there and we are too late.” All the officers said “Sir, yes sir!”
DaBank sat back down in his chair and pulled up his favorite data slate and enjoyed his delicious Salt Grox Rolls and sipped Recaf out of his limited edition Emperor’s Recaf mug.
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Prelude to the Prelude of Game 7Lt Dan rushed back into the command room and said “Sir, Sir we have urgent news!” DaBank had a hard time putting down his data slate but finally did and said “What is it?” Navy Intelligence says they have intercepted some weird vox transmissions from Ork traffic and it seems one of the Ork Mobs has a new leader and is name is WarpFungus or something like that.” “What do you mean or something like that?”, asked DaBank. Lt Dan said, “Sir, Ork language is very hard to understand that is the best we can make out.” “Hmmm” said DaBank, “I wonder if this Warp Fungus Nob will have what it takes to make a worthy opponent?” (Normally, if anyone was to think that an Ork has the cognitive ability they would think you were crazy that any Xenos especially an Ork had the capabilities to think and strategize but over the years since leaving the Commissar School DaBank had learned that Orks had the possibility to be very creative at times.)
DaBank sat back and began to sip some more recaf and think back you he was a young cadet at the Schola Progenium. He began to remember how simple things where as there were no worries or stress per say. DaBank began to reflect on DoggerBall, a common game played throughout the Imperium. It involves two opposing teams of 7 each attempting to score the most goals and knock out the other team’s players within 4 quarters of 15 sectors. He can still remember the cheer of the crowd when it would enter the arena.
Now, he had to worry about the welfare of the men in his squad. The men in his squad including his officers were from Penal Prisons and condemned to Death. As a Commissar death is a daily occurrence. DaBank looked out for his men even though they were tasked with taking on the most dangerous missions. It was a death sentence waiting to happen and he knew it.
Again, another knock on the door. It was Lt Dan again. “Sir, more news” said Lt Dan. Lt Dan handed the data slate to DaBank for review. DaBank typed in his commissarial codes into the data slate and the holographic image projected itself several inches above the data slate. “Emperor’s Blood!” said DaBank, ”What in the name of Terra is that?” A monotone voice began to respond to DaBank from the data slate the picture in question is a mutant and not a chaos mutant but rather a genestealer mutant. The look on DaBank’s face could show he was not expecting this. DaBank’s squad is already fighting Orks, Eldar, Imperial Renegades, PDF units that have no loyalties, rumors of Tau running around and now Genestealers.
Lt Dan asked, “How do we find them?” DaBank calmly said, “We don’t, they will find us.” DaBank mulled all the possibilities and wondered how many genestealers could be on the planet and how many mutants could be out there?” Lt Dan asked, “Are all these different groups working together?” DaBank smiled and replied, “No, and thank the Emperor for that, they will end up fighting each other for supremacy and we will go in and wipe them out when they are weakend.” Lt Dan said, “That reminds me of an old proverb, Treachery is its own reward.”
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Waiting for the Enemy to Show Up (Prelude to Game 7)Colonel-Commissar DaBank was sipping some warm Recaff in his limited editon Emperor's cup when he asked Lt Dan, "Well, any signs of the enemy?" "Sir, no Sir", blurted Lt Dan. "Whose idea was it anyway to recon this area?" DaBank asked. Lt Dan said, "Sir, it was your idea." DaBank thought about if for a minute and, "Yes, I guess it was:" DaBank coughs and loudly says, "Well, you can never be to sure where the enemy will be as you know they are very sneaky." Lt Dan, Lt Pyle both looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
DaBank peered through his amplivisor, that were equipped with night detection, and looked for movement or anything that would give away an enemy position. Pvt Seymore Bottoms brought up some more Recaf in carafe to DaBank and others. "Most thoughtful" said DaBank. Lt Dan and Lt Pyle graciously refused the Recaf for some reason.
(more later)
Still Waiting for the Enemy and Now we Got You!The command area is located in a desolate and ruined projection viewing building. The front concession area was still stocked with food and supplies that have long expired. Sergeant Rock looked at his grey-pulp protein bar in his hand and looked at the pop xorn bin, the pop xorn was turning various colors of green and seemed to move. Sergeant Rock wondered which one was safer to eat?
In front of the building Private Parts and Area were standing guard in front of the building. There was still part of the signage in tack in front of the building and it read “Brother of the Snake.” Private Parts asked “What in the name of the Emperor is Brother of the Snake?” Private Parts chimmed in and said “It one of those Arnold Tallone’s movies that had these all but indestructible men made of iron and weighing 2,000lbs smiting the bad guys.” Private parts nodded and said, “Basically another “B” movie with great action but horrible acting”
It was first light when the scouts came back to base camp. Pvt Ben Dover and Corporal Richard Cranium reported back to Colonel-Commissar DaBank’s command area. They jogged up to DaBank and saluted, DaBank saluted back and asked, “Well, what did you find?” Corporal Cranium spoke first, “Sir, we can’t find any signs of enemy in and around a 3 Klom area.” DaBank pulled up his data-slate and typed in his Commissarial code and it hummed to life. DaBank looked at the latest Naval Orbital Reconnaissance it also noted no troop, vehicle or other clues that an enemy force is present. DaBank mumbled, “When in the name of Feth am I going to be able to shoot someone?” Corporal Cranium asked, “Sir, Did you say something?” DaBank just nodded No.
DaBank called for Lt Dan to call in the other officers and NCOs into the command area. In a few minutes Lt Dan said all present and accounted for. DaBank brought everyone around to the data-map and plug in some codes and it highlighted the general area. DaBank asked his men “If they had any ideas on this matter as we believe they enemy will strike at the heart of the Promethium tanks to help cripple the Imperium?” Lt Pyle suggested researching all the Promethium facilities on the planet.” DaBank asked, “There are more than one?” Ensign Boy George said, “Oh, yes!, the planet is littered with them all over the place.” DaBank was fuming as this information was not passed on to him and blurted, “Why in the name of the Emperor himself did you not tell us that when you suggested this idea last week, and don’t forget to say Sir when addressing an officer!”
The other officers and NCOs all thought it was funny as they never really took to Ensign George and his quick promotion. They felt that George was just trying to catch the eye of the Commissar and tried showing off at the last battle engagement.
Ensign George stammered and replied, “Yes, I didn’t specify any others as I thought we would pick the closet one so we wouldn’t have further to travel, Sir!” At that moment DaBank was clutching his Emperor’s Holographic ReCaf mug very tightly and his face began to turn red. Lts Dan and Pyle jumped in and began putting data in the data-map and pulled up a large holographic image of the planet that showed ALL the Promethium storage facilities. The holographic map lite up like a tree on Emperor’s day.
Lt Dan quickly chimed in “It seems from all the strategic importance of the Promethium, this one over here seems the least fortified and Naval Intelligence surveillance scans show that there seems to be some unidentified troops moving in that direction.” Commissar DaBank stated, “How far away is this place from us?” “2 days, Sir! Replied Lt Dan. “Ok, then how far away is the enemy from this facility?” asked DaBank. “Sir, from the Naval tracking it seems they are two days out also but traveling fast in some technical vehicles.” DaBank exclaimed, “Mount up and get us moving into that direction.” Ensign George smiled after he heard DaBank’s words.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the planet a PDF Renegade force is in hot pursuit for the Promethium Storage Facility called, Omicron Kappa or OK
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Game 7 WonDaBank jumped off the back of the half track and pulled off his “glare shades” and told LT Dan “I love the smell of Promethium in the Morning!” Lt Dan said, “Sir, it is the afternoon.” DaBank looked at Lt Dan with a look that could kill and said sarcastically, “No Frakkin way!, Are you serious? As I never could have figured that out by my chronograph or how the sun is positioned in the sky.” Lt Dan realized he just should have kept his mouth shut.
DaBank’s men had just arrived at the Omicron Kappa Promethium Reserves. They knew from Naval Intelligence that the potential enemy was coming in via troop transports from the West and DaBank’s team of Last Chancers came in from the East. DaBank was just giving orders for the group to split up into two when Muy Fuego, the new addition to the Last Chancers who specializes in Demolition, reported in. “Truck approaching from the West!”, exclaimed Fuego and “I had time to set up two booby traps!”
DaBank smiled and knew he now had the element of surprise on his side. Just as the Last Chancers were splitting up into two groups and explosion went off on the West side. One of Muy Fuego’s booby traps had gone off. Pvt George Michael looked at the bulge in DaBank’s fatigues as he pulled out to see it was DaBank’s Amplivisor. DaBank peered into the amplivsor and saw that the potential enemy was in fact a PDF unit. “Emperor’s teeth!” yelled DaBank. We are fighting our own people he thought. This far out in the Eastern Fringe there were no loyalties. Merchants, rogue traders, Governors and PDF units would sell themselves out to the highest bidder as they assumed they never would be caught. Since the Departmento Munitorium had noticed a dip in production and sent out a survey team it had come to light that the entire planet was selling Imperium resources to Xenos races.
The heavy exchange of lasgun and autogun fire permeated the air. Then an unmistakenable smell of promethium filled the air. The PDF unit had three flamers and two had gotten within range to shoot out hot promethium fuel onto no less than 4 of DaBank’s men and including DaBank himself. At that moment DaBank was thinking to himself why in the world don’t I just retire? Thanks to DaBank’s excellent leadership and training of his men none of his men were seriously hurt by the on-slaught of thee flamers.
Ensign Boy George grew extremely jealous to see three flamers from the enemy PDF Unit came onto his squad members. Ensign George move forward to spew hot liquid onto the opposing PDF unit. He managed to knock them down and drive them back. Pvt Michael move forward also with his flamer and not to be out done by Ensign George and came out into view to flame all with his flamer.
Lt. Pyle opened up on full auto with his lasgun that was equipped hotshot pack. He managed to keep the enemy’s heads down but then the hotshot pack overheated and caused the gun to jam. Lt Pyle was forced to jump down to the ground as the enemy had spotted he was having weapon issues and began shooting back at him.
Sarge Rock decided to charge one of the PDF flamers as he had enough of this flaming nonsense. Colonel-Commissar DaBank provided covering fire for Sarge Rock and managed wound the flamer unit. Sergeant Rocked yelled at the flamer to “roll over and take it like a man.” Sergeant Rock pulled out this Laspistol and Combat Knife and finished the flamer off.
Another flamer of the PDF unit came within range on DaBank’s right side and open fire again. DaBank managed to jump behind some barrels but Pvt Lonely was not so lucky and absorbed all the flames and was taken OOA. DaBank had enough of this, he told the rest of the men near him to give me covering fire as he would deal with the last flamer himself. DaBank ripped open his shirt, which distracted the enemy PDF Flamer, and yelled” Do you see the Aquila scar on my chest, do you see it? This is how true we are to the Emperor as I personally used my combat knife and carved the sign of Aquila in my chest!” DaBank’s men managed to make the PDF Flamer jump to the ground for cover and whimper like a schola girl. DaBank charged with the frenzied fury of a Grox Bull in Rut and blasted two holes through the whimpy flamer and his body went limp.
Two Catachan fighters went down and was rushed to the medicae right after it was safe to move the wounded. Hawkeye had a bad feeling this was going to be a bloody battle and was setting back from the action setting up a triage unit. Hawkeye worked on the first seriously wounded Catchan trooper and he could not locate the ruptured artery and he bled to death. “Damn it!” cried Hawkeye and then mumbled to himself there is never enough time. Two orderlies brought in another seriously wounded Catachan who had a massive chest wound with an autogun. Hawkeye rushed to the new wounded Catachan and saw his vitals were going down and then the Catachan’s vitals stopped. Hawkeye immediately pounded his first on the catachan’s chest to start his heart and nothing happened and he did it again and administered a shot of medicine into the downed Catachan’s chest. The Catachan body convulsed from the ingredients of the syringe and the man’s vitals become more pronounced. Hawkeye said to himself, “I am not losing you, it anin’t going to happen, Emperor help me, I don’t want to lose another man.” Pvt Boy George who was standing next to Hawkeye smiled and said “I know the feeling Doc.”
Back in DaBank’s command center, located in a bombed out pict-viewing building, DaBank was conferencing with Lord General Richard Cranium. Lord General’s holographic image that projected from the data-slate was blurry but still discernable. The Lord General was thanking DaBank and his Last Chancers for their great work on securing the OK Promethium Tanks. The Lord General said he would make sure that 110 + credits would be put in the Last Chancers supply fund for doing such an excellent job. Colonel-Commissar DaBank graciously nodded and thanked the Lord General for this generous out pouring of resources. DaBank took a long sip of Recaf from his limited edition Emperor’s Mug, with the holographic image of the Emperor smiting Orks, and began to think about the new Ork Nob and how great it will be to have it’s head used for a great game of DoggerBall.
DaBank began to calculate the money he had received from the Lord General and the amount of credits he had saved up and summized that he could pull some strings with his clout and the amount of credits he had that he could transfer an Ogryn into his squad. DaBank typed in a few codes into his data-slate and called in Lt Dan. DaBank said, “I am no Drake Tracer, a fictional detective character in novels in the 40K Imperium, that we could set an Ogryn up and commission him into our Penal Squad.” Lt Dan didn’t know what to say and politely said “Yes, sir”.
Two hours later DaBank, Lt Dan and Ensign Boy George were outside a local drinking establishment and inside was an Ogryn but he was already in service to another squad. DaBank had bribed off the local Arbites and other security in the area with credits and fear of death to avoid this place for the next hour.
Ensign Boy George entered the drinking establishment called the “Blue Oyster” and looked around for the Ogryn but he wasn’t really that hard to spot. Ensign George saw the Ogryn up at the bar downing some sort of drink in 5 gallons jugs. Cautiously, he got next to the Ogryn and said “Hello”. The Ogryn, barely glimpsed at George. Ensign George then introduced himself to the gigantic Ogryn. The Ogryn had a scowl on his face and he breathed toxic fumes from his mouth that would have killed an Ork in his tracks into the Ensign’s face but then the Ogryn smiled (all of his front teeth were missing) and said, “Me George too, wiis got the same name.” After a few minutes later and a few drinks you would have thought the Ensign and Ogryn had been friends for a long time. Then Ensign George told the Ogryn to bend down so he could tell me a secret. The Ogryn reeled up quickly after Ensign George had whispered something into his ears and the Ogryn looked very perplexed. The Ogryn bellowed, “George not gay, George straight.” Immediately the music stopped and all the patrons were looking at the Ogryn. Lt Dan was ready with his part and pushed an unsuspecting miner into the Ogryns back side. The Ogryn said “I am straight” and grabbed the man and threw him across the room. Lt Dan and Ensign George knew to leave right away. In a few minutes the Blue Oyster had turned into a full fledge Ork scrum as bodies, tables, chairs, shoes, drinks and anything else that was not nailed down to the floor was being thrown all over the place.
Colonel-Commissar DaBank entered the establishment and moved close to the Ogryn he pulled out his bolt pistol and fired a few shots in the air and then shot a picture that was very horrible looking on the back wall. Almost everyone had stopped except for the Ogryn he was hitting people and trashing the place. DaBank tapped the Ogryn on the back and the Ogryn spun around to hit DaBank. DaBank moved out of the way to have most of the force miss him but allowed a little to graze him. DaBank fell to the floor and then the Ogryn saw who he had “hit”. Colonel-Commissar DaBank stood up and straightened his hat and pointed his bolt pistol in the Ogryn’s face but he couldn’t stop looking at the Ogryn’s missing front teeth. DaBank hollered, “Do you know the penalty for striking an Imperial Officer but a Commissar?” The Ogryn didn’t know what to do or what to say. DaBank explained, even though the Ogryn would never fully understand, the penalties for striking a Commissar. DaBank told the Ogryn he can either accept DaBank’s punishment or be shot on the scene. The Ogryn thought for a minute and said, “Ok, what dis it?” DaBank said, “You my friend are not part of the Penal Squad and will serve out your sentence till death.” The Ogryn just noted and followed DaBank out.
When DaBank got back to his office up in the pict-projection area of the theatre building he noted to himself that he didn't have enough credits left over for a 10 credit joy girl and thought he better get another game of cards scheduled with his officers.
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Game 8 LostDaBank had gotten valuable feedback from an Eldar informant who said the new Ork Nob Warp Fungus was moving his mob into a desolate city on the planet. The new Ork Nob was hoping his presence into this new headquarters who go unnoticed thus allowing him more tactical prowess. DaBank told his men to “saddle” up and get aboard the transport shuttles.
DaBank’s Last Chancers disembarked the shuttles and ran into positions and scouted the area. DaBank reached downed and pulled out his amplivisor and surveyed the surroundings and saw some Ork Grots scurring around and they seemed to be up to no good. DaBank was highly motivated and got a jump on the Orks and moved his men forward.
Meanwhile in a building in the center of the block Warp Fungus had sent three of his Sneaky Boyz lead by Wurrizhim. Wurrizhim took to the top floor of the building and bellowed orders to his other Sneaky Boyz to get to the 2nd floor and man the windows. LT Dan moved into the 2nd floor of an abandoned building and took up a took sniping position to help cover his brothers in arms. He watched his young, strong and sweaty warriors run across the alleys.
Colonel-Commissar DaBank’s acquired demolition specialist, Grande Fuego, was moving forward and noticed the Orks had set up some bobby traps. He yelled out, “Stay back and move around until I can defuse them.” Unfortunately, George the newly “recruited” Orgyn doesn’t not listen very well and moved forward and set up one of the Ork Bobby Traps and caused it to explode and it slightly wounded him. Grande Fuego managed to defuse one of the Orkish Booby safely.
A hail of fire erupted from the building that contained the Ork Kommandos, they had been so stealthy that DaBank’s men had not realized they were sitting Ferndales. The Kommandos were so eager to shoot something they did not even stop to aim but just fired a way. It was a close call for DaBank’s men but none were seriously hurt. Lt Dan became enraged that the Orks would use such sneaky tactics pulled out his Lasgun and recited a ritual to bless the weapon and fired. The shot struck home and took the Ork Kommando, Wurrizhim out of action.
Private George Michael, a flamer, moved forward and spewed hot sticky promethium gel into one of the 2nd story windows. The poor Ork Kommando was not ready for this and took the full brunt of the flaming gel mass into his face. The Ork screamed in pain and stumbled backwards and fell off the 2nd story floor and landed on his choppa. The last standing Kommando boy laughed at the other two but then quickly stopped laughing when he felt a warm rush of air coming through the window. The Ork looked to see what it was and then he saw the wall of flame coming right at him. He managed to duck but he banged his head on the wall and a sledgehammer fell down on its head and it stunned the Ork.
DaBank cheered his men on as it seem their shots could not miss and Orks falling like rocks in a quarry. The Ogryn, Curly and Pvt Michael entered the middle building and the assumed it was devoid of Orks but they were wrong. The Kommando boy had stumbled and gotten up and heard “hummie” voices and pulled the pin and threw the stick grenade down to the first floor. The grenade landed right in the middle of the three and it went off. Pvt Michaels was knocked senseless, Trooper Curly dove for cover and escaped most of the damage and the dumb Ogryn just didn’t move and blast lacerated the Ogryn’s kidney.
The Ork Mob then saw that they had an advantage in numbers and started to move into position. A grot with a grot blaster opened fire at the Ogryn and managed to shoot a bullet into the Ogryns eye and the bullet entered the Ogryn’s brain and the Ogryn feel to the ground.
Lt Dan moved to another sniping spot and managed to take down another Ork boy with his blessed lasgun. DaBank rounded the corner of the building and there were Orks all over the place. Colonel DaBank pulled out his boltgun and opened fire on another charging Ork Boy and took him down. Grande Fuego, the demo expert, saw an Ork boy running from one building and coming straight at his squad. He raised his autopistol quickly and fired off to quick shots and they caught the Ork in his mouth when the Ork was yelling and they traveled out the back of the Ork’s head and pulling most of his brain out the backside of the Ork’s skull.
Colonel-Commissar DaBank qued his com-bead and told the shuttle pilots to land quickly at extraction zone New-Oscar-Webster or NOW!
Pvt George Michael was grievously wounded during the skirmish and was being taken to the medicae. Michael’s vitals were slowing and he did not have long. Hawkeye was already working on another squad member in the triage when he glanced over and saw that two orderlies were bringing in Private Michaels and Hawkeyes eyes caught Michaels eyes. Hawkeye hollered at Corporal Klinger to finish up the stitches on the current soldier. Hawkeye ran over to Michael’s side and asked, “Where does it hurt?” Michael’s eyes light up for a brief second and then faded away. Hawkeye immediately performed CPR on the flaming lad and his vitals did not improve it was flat lines across. Hawkeye then tried electro-static shock upon Michael’s chest and that was unable to review him. Hawkeye looked as if he had been punched in the gut and then he remembered. He remembered that “urty syringe” he found on the battlefield by an Ork “doctor”. He pulled the “urty” syringe out of his pocked and thrust into Michael’s body. For a second Michael’s eyes fluttered and then he gasp for air like fish out of water and then his vitals began to improve. Hawkeye was looking down at Michael when Ensign George walked with a funny gait up to Hawkeye and noted again for two weeks in a row that he saved another man from leaving him. Hawkeye breathed deeply and sighed.
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Game 9 WonDaBank was sitting in his command office eating a salt grox sandwich and a nice steamy cup of ReCaf in his limited edition Emperor’s cup thinking about what could his men and him give back to the community.
Besides being fighters DaBank’s men also carry out humanitarian missions to the needy folks caught in the cross fire of the war. DaBank and his men volunteered to help build a school and helped create a fund for orphaned kids. While walking back to their command shop DaBank thought he heard something. It sounds like a cat. DaBank told his men to fan out and see where the noise was coming from. DaBank looked down a sewage grate and saw a poor lonely kitten that was suck. As DaBank was personally lifting the grate up lasgun fire erupted. It was a trap! The Eldar knew DaBank’s kind heart would not let the kitten suffer so they planned a Stake-Out of the area. DaBank looked down and the kitten looked very afraid and that is when DaBank made the decision to save the kitten. DaBank told his men to fan out and told another 4 to stay around him(DaBank and four others could not move in the first turn due to the need to pass an initiative test) and give him cover so we can save the kitten. George the Orgyn went to charge an Eldar on the otherside of a building but got stuck in the doorway(miss judged his charging distance and fell short). The gunfire was intense from both sides.
The Eldar had the element of surprise and set up. They had snipers in three buildings and took as many shots as they could at DaBank. Ensign Boy George and Pvt George Michael both readied their flame nozzles and poured flaming promethium onto two Eldar and it seems the Eldar were quick to “dodge” the flames and did a “stop, drop and roll” and they were not seriously hurt other than a bad hair day.
The Eldar struck back with a vengeance and beat Ensign Boy George to a pulp and shot Pvt Michaels in the back. Pvt Curly was also taken OOA by an Eldar sniper. DaBank had just pulled out the kitten and tucked him away in his pouch when he saw the devastation caused by the Eldar. DaBank yelled, “Here I am shoot me if you want” The Eldar tried but they could not take Colonel Commissar DaBank out. DaBank moved up to the 2nd floor of a shelled out building and began firing at the Eldar.
One of the sniper shots hit DaBank in his helmet and he was “stunned” by the impact and velocity of the las fire. It took DaBank a few minutes before he could stand up but this was actually a good thing as he was protected by cover during that time and was unseen to the Eldar.
A Cathachan fighter named, Billy Bob, was taken out by the Eldar Exarch but Sgt Rock (hero) and Grande Fuego (Demo Man) stood toe to toe fighting the Exarch and Psyker Bitch. Hero made a killing blow on the Psyker Bitch but Demo Man was knocked down. Hero turned around and performed an open heart surgery on the Exarch and stopped on the Exarch’s heart on the ground. You would think at this time the Eldar would leave the battlefield but they decided to fight on for honor.
After seeing this Colonel-Commissar DaBank ralied his men to charge ahead and they did. The Last Chancers were fighting for orphans and lost kittens and they were not going to take this from the Eldar. The Last Chancer’s shots were finally finding their marks during the last quarter of the battle as the previous 3 quarters of battle their damage was mediocre at best against the Eldar. As it seems the Eldar are able to “Dodge” out the way of incoming gun fire, used some effective armor and wear some weird Talismans that granted them some sort of protection.
Out of 12 Eldar models that tried to ambush DaBank and his men it seems only three were left standing.
DaBank was worried about his men as he had 5 taken down and were wounded. Ensign Boy George was cut deeply into his face with an Eldar nail file and caused a horrible scar (64 on Serious Injuries) The scar is so hideous that Hawkeye flinched when he saw it. Lt Pyle made a full recovery also, Trooper Curly and Catachan Billy Bob also turned out to be fine. As always Pvt George Michael was greviously wounded and once again (for the 4th or 5th) Hawkeye used his skills (reroll on injury) to save Pvt Michael.
Colonel-Commissar received credits from the Lord General for his volunteer work but DaBank was too tired to spend his credits after an exhausting day of building a school, saving a kitten and fighting off an Eldar attack.
[Edited the multiple spaces, so it can be read with ease]